The simple and direct answer to the question, "Why do I suffer?" is ignorance. However, if the suffering is associated with bodily pain, then it is due to karma—the result of our adharmic (unrighteous) actions in this birth or in previous births.
Mental suffering is a subjective matter. It takes place in the mind of the individual and is influenced by personal conditioning, perceptions, and biases.
All human beings suffer because of ignorance. We suffer due to our desires, expectations, and attachments. Our inability to recognize the one source of consciousness and energy that pervades all living and non-living beings is the reason we suffer mentally.
As the Bhagavad Gita (2.62–63) explains:
"While contemplating the objects of the senses, a person develops attachment for them; from attachment comes desire, from desire arises anger... and from the destruction of discrimination, one is ruined."
We seek warmth, approval, wealth, power, love, and appreciation. This endless list of wants produces only suffering. Even when we obtain what we desire, we remain dissatisfied because it fails to meet our expectations, or we simply want more.
Nobody is born to suffer. It is false knowledge and the lack of true understanding that cause suffering. From childhood, we are taught to believe that happiness exists outside ourselves. This belief is reinforced by our parents, schools, and society. It is this false understanding that gives rise to all kinds of suffering.
The Brihadaranyaka Upanishad (4.4.12) points toward the true source of happiness:
"The Self alone is to be seen, heard, reflected upon, and meditated upon. By knowing the Self, everything is known."
The day we realize that happiness lies within us rather than outside us, we begin to free ourselves from the grip of suffering. But if we continue searching for happiness in external objects and circumstances, we become further entangled in the web of suffering, from which there is no lasting escape.
The Dhammapada (Verse 1) also reminds us:
"Mind precedes all phenomena; mind is their chief; they are all mind-made."
Poverty, racism, inequality, competition, failure, the need for approval, the desire for acceptance, fear, and betrayal are all causes of suffering. Yet, if we examine each of these carefully, we will find that they ultimately arise from our search for happiness, security, and comfort outside ourselves.
The Bhagavad Gita (2.70) beautifully illustrates this truth:
"Just as the ocean remains full and undisturbed although many rivers enter it, so the person into whom all desires enter, yet who remains unmoved, attains peace—not the one who strives to satisfy desires."
We must realize that people may forcefully injure our body, but they can hurt our mind only if we allow them to. A strong and disciplined mind is essential for overcoming suffering. A mind that remains steady and unshaken in all circumstances is what is needed if we wish to end suffering.
As the Bhagavad Gita (2.56) states:
"One whose mind is undisturbed in sorrow, free from longing in pleasure, and beyond attachment, fear, and anger is called a sage of steady wisdom."
When we suffer because of our ignorance, we often pass that suffering on to those closest to us, especially our children. Neglect, unresolved emotional pain, and unhealthy patterns can create trauma and mental distress that children may carry throughout their lives. Therefore, we must free ourselves from our own suffering so that the next generation does not inherit the same burdens.
The ideal way to overcome suffering is to live a spiritual life grounded in right understanding. Reduce and eventually relinquish expectations. Live a simple, uncomplicated life, cultivating contentment, self-awareness, and inner peace.
As the Isha Upanishad (Verse 1) teaches:
"Enjoy through renunciation; do not covet what belongs to another."
And as Patañjali's Yoga Sutras (2.16) succinctly declare:
"Heyam duḥkham anāgatam" — "Future suffering can be avoided."
By replacing ignorance with wisdom, attachment with understanding, and desire with contentment, suffering gradually loses its hold over us.
Abhilash