Ultimately, it depends on the level of one’s control over the mind whether or not one feels tense in a particular situation. In similar situations different persons would react differently. This depends on the attitude, lifestyle experience, maturity and poise of the person at that particular time. Two important paths for attaining control of mind as advocated by the Bhagavad Gita are renunciation and practice. If we exercise control over endless wants, we would have better control over the mind. Control over the restless mind would also improve if we constantly watch the movements of the wandering mind and repeatedly bring it to the object of focus. This would bring poise and clarity of thought. We would see things in the right perspective. Ambiguity and confusion would be reduced. Our capacity to handle disturbances and the associated tension will improve.
When there is turbulence following an unpleasant episode, a detailed analysis of how the incident developed helps in controlling the after-effect. This may be done mentally or by writing it all down on a piece of paper or in a diary. It is useful for a person to be within himself for a while and reflect over the facts and issues. One can have a clearer perception of the problem and decide about the right course of action if one analyses it in a dispassionate way. One can also draw lessons from the event and decide how such a situation can be handled better in future.
It is to be remembered that we have built up an image of ourselves over the years through a series of actions, pursuits, attainments and failures. If we look at ourselves, we may have a realistic estimate of where we stand. This is independent of how others look upon us. We shall then realize that neither will good words or praise elevate our position nor bad words or lack of compliments really downgrade us. A degree of tolerance for instances of maltreatment or loss of honor would help us remain unaffected.
Source – Excerpts from article titled 'Living with Tension' By Dibakar Chakrabarti in October 2005 issue of Prabuddha Bharata Magazine