Bhima and Hidimbi: Love That Never Changed the Other Person - Love Without Conditions
Mahabharata is a storehouse of relationships of all kinds.
It shows husband and wife, parent and child, friends, teachers, students and
enemies. Some relationships are heavy with duty and expectation. Some are very
natural, without commitments, without demands and without regrets. The union of
Bhima and Hidimbi is one such relationship. It is raw, powerful and simple,
like nature itself.
The Story in Brief
In Adi Parva of Mahabharata, the Pandavas escape the house
of lac and go deep into the forest with their mother Kunti. There they meet
Hidimbi, a Rakshasi, sister of the Rakshasa Hidimba. She sees Bhima and feels
love for him. When her brother attacks the Pandavas, Bhima kills him. Hidimbi
then asks Kunti and Yudhishthira to accept her as Bhima’s wife. Kunti and
Yudhishthira agree, and the condition is that Bhima will stay with her until a
son is born. Their son is Ghatotkacha. After this Bhima returns to his
brothers, and Hidimbi goes on with her own life in the forest. This is the
first marriage in the Pandava family, before Draupadi came.
Love Without Changing the Other Person
The most important point is that neither of them tried to
change the other. Hidimbi did not ask Bhima to leave his family and become a
forest dweller. Bhima did not ask Hidimbi to leave her nature and live like a
princess in Hastinapur. They loved each other, found comfort and passion with
each other, and accepted that their paths were different. In many relationships
today, the problem starts exactly here, when one person wants to remake the
other.
Teaching from the Scriptures
Hinduism does not see natural desire as something shameful.
In Bhagavad Gita Chapter 7 Verse 11, Bhagavan Krishna says that among living
beings He is the desire which is not against dharma. So desire itself is not a
sin. It becomes a problem only when it breaks dharma, harms others or becomes a
bondage. The union of Bhima and Hidimbi was within dharma, since it had the
permission of Kunti and Yudhishthira, and nobody was cheated or hurt.
Symbolism
Bhima stands for strength, hunger and the simple human body.
Hidimbi stands for the forest, wild nature and freedom. Their meeting shows
that the civilized world and the natural world can respect each other.
Ghatotkacha, their son, carries both sides. He later gave his life in the
Kurukshetra war for the Pandavas, which shows that the family bond stayed alive
even after the parents lived separately.
Modern Day Relevance
Today many couples live apart because of jobs, family duties
or different lifestyles. Many also break relationships because of ego and
control. The story of Hidimbi and Bhima shows that love does not need
possession. It can exist with space, respect and understanding. It also shows
that parting can be peaceful, without bitterness.
Life Lessons
- Love
the person as they are, not as you want them to be.
- Responsibility
and love can exist together. Bhima kept his duty to his family and also
kept his word to Hidimbi.
- Having
no expectations reduces pain, and having no regrets gives peace.
- Every relationship has its own time and purpose, and it is fine to accept that.
Bhima and Hidimbi were not a perfect fairy tale couple, and the epic does not present them that way. But they were honest with each other and with their own nature. That honesty is the real teaching of this union, and it is still useful for all of us.