The most important role of parents is to care for and provide unconditional love to the child, especially when the child is behaving in an unlovable manner. Love and care from both parents provides security and a sense of belonging to the growing child.
Love needs to be communicated to the child in an affectionate
way — with patting, hugs, and kisses.
Discipline does not mean punishment, it means training with love. It is very important that both parents agree on the rules and
restrictions put on their children as well as the concessions they offer, so that the children perceive their parents as a reliable unit. Parents must not convey
confusing and mixed messages through their behaviour. If parents undermine each other, children become perplexed, or learn to be manipulative and do whatever they like.
To be effective, discipline should be firm, consistent, and
immediate.
Children should also know that the world is not bed roses.
There will be problems in life. So share all problems associated with the
family to children without instilling fear and hate. Share the problem and a
solution.
Children require clear and simple rules with suitable
explanations about what is expected of them in a given situation and what
consequences are likely to follow. This provides the foundation for the child
to be well-behaved, well-socialized, and better adjusted to the demands of
society.
Spend time playing with and talking to your children, and
sincerely listen to them. Have meals with them and organize family outings and
holidays. It helps children build up positive self-esteem and a sense of
belonging. A family that spends time together stays together. Family unity
facilitates the acquisition of such basic values as respect for others,
honesty, and truthfulness. Nothing is more effective in achieving this than the
parents’ personal example. A close and fluent relationship within
the family also makes children feel less intimidated to approach their parents
and disclose their problems.
Finally, one of the vital prerequisites for the healthy upbringing
of children is personal adjustment and a harmonious marital relationship. When
the marriage is happy, the home becomes a haven for children to grow and
develop. There are two gifts that parents can give to their children: roots and
wings — roots to grow, nurture, and develop a solid foundation, physically,
emotionally, and spiritually; wings to soar high from those foundations and
freely expand their horizons.
Discuss spiritual texts and their meaning. Make children
interested in Hindu scriptures like Bhagavad Gita, Yoga Vasishta, Ramayana,
Mahabharata… provide them with opportunity to explore the vast Hindu teachings.
Source - Excerpts from Counselling: When Do Children Need Our Help? By Dr Pushpa Bose published in the June 2008 issue of Prabuddha Bharata magazine – with additional inputs from the blogger.