Most of the conflicts of life arise from our craving for things that we do not have. There is a mismatch between what we want and what we have. This leads to conflict. We are drawn to the path of war. Sometimes we can extract what we want by force. On most occasions we fail. We are demoralized and frustrated. It is therefore useful to ask. ‘Do I need it?’ before one develops the tempo for acquiring a thing. In most cases a dispassionate analysis of such a query will lead to the answer that many of the things that we want are not needed at all. If we can rationalize our wants we have made a substantial progress in reducing occasions for tension.
We need to be always watchful of our thought processes and actions. We must detect any signal that may prompt us to do or say something impulsively. With the early detection of such triggering factors we should be able to control ourselves, take a pause, and if possible shift the subject or move out of the scene. Any action by one who is emotionally charged is likely to invite complications. Therefore, a continuous vigil on one’s moods and thought processes is helpful in avoiding problems.
Source – Excerpts from article titled 'Living with Tension' By Dibakar Chakrabarti in October 2005 issue of Prabuddha Bharata Magazine