Nature of Attachment Based On The Teachings From Bhagavad Gita is from 'Bhagavad Gita Lessons – Gita for Joyful Living' By Raja Subramaniyan
Attachment describes the connection between an individual
and an external object. (‘Object’ includes people, things, possessions,
positions, power, fame etc). Most people are attached to something or other in
life, whether they are aware of their attachment or not.
Example: It is important that I have a cup of coffee in the morning.
This is an attachment. The degree of attachment varies among people but
everyone is attached to something or someone. When the degree of attachment is
at the highest level, it is felt that the purpose of one’s life is to devote to
the welfare of the object or person to which one is attached.
Example: A mother is attached to her newborn baby and she is willing to give
her life for the sake of the welfare of the baby.
Attachment is different from love. Attachment is born out of dependence and it
comes with expectation. Love does not make one dependent and one will not have
any expectation. Therefore, it is possible to love someone deeply without
developing any attachment. It is also possible to develop attachment without
any love or affection.
Example: She is very much attached to her boyfriend. If she learns that he is
seeing someone else, she develops hatred and distances herself from him. Even
when there is no more love, the attachment does not vanish. She still misses
him.
As a corollary to the above, it is possible to love deeply someone without
developing any attachment.
Example: A mother loves her son very dearly. When he wants to go abroad for his
higher studies, she does not object to his proposal.
Ignorance is the source of attachment.
Two factors develop and sustain attachment. They are ‘physical association’ and
‘mental association’.
Example: If I drink coffee more frequently, I get more attachment to it. This
is due to physical association.
Example: The more she thinks of him, more attachment she develops. This is due
to mental association.
Normally, physical association precedes mental association.
When we meet someone for the first time, we do not have many thoughts about
that person in our mind. There is no attachment. As we get to move closely with
that person (frequent meetings, sharing of opinions and views etc) more
thoughts about that person are accumulated in the mind. The degree of
attachment is directly proportional to the quantum of thoughts.
In this case, the physical association has lead to mental association. It is
also possible that we learn about an object without coming into physical
contact with it. Advertisement in television and magazines kindle our thoughts
(mental association) and make us crave for obtaining the object (physical
association).
Physical and mental associations are interdependent and support mutual growth.
Frequent physical association brings more thoughts into the mind. More thoughts
in the mind compel one to spend more time in physical association.
Thus, attachment increases at a fast rate and soon reaches a stage of ‘I cannot
live without you’.
In general, we are not aware of the degree of our attachment to a person or
object. Only when we meet an obstacle to the physical association with the
object of our attachment, we realize its existence.
Anger or fear indicates the degree of our attachment. If someone is preventing
us from physical association, we will get anger or fear. If that someone is
inferior to us, we become angry. Else, fear takes over.
Example: After office hours, I come home and watch a TV serial. When this is
done repeatedly for about two weeks, I develop attachment to the serial and it
becomes my favorite serial. I leave the office in time so that I do not miss
the program.
If my subordinates do not finish their work in time, I become angry. I shout at
them to hurry up lest I might miss my program.
If my superior asks me to come to his cabin, I develop a fear that I may be
delayed.
Until we experience fear or anger, we do not realize that we are attached.
Arjuna is leading the army in the battlefield and he asks Bhagavan Krishna to
take him to a place where he can see his ‘enemies’ clearly. However when Bhagavan
Krishna stops the chariot, he does not see enemies. He sees friends, relatives
and close associates. This is the result of attachment.
Although he knew that he was going to fight with Bhisma and Dhrona even before
arriving at the battlefield, he was not aware of his attachment. When it is
time to act, he realizes that he is attached to them so deeply that he cannot
think of killing them.