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How To Stay Calm And Cool When Others Make Us Angry? - A Hindu Perspective

Here is a look as to how to stay calm and cool when others make us angry?

We live in a world that is filled with aggressive, dominating and intimidating individuals. We have to deal with such short tempered and volatile characters in our daily life. So we need to stay calm and cool when others around us are not.

We must be able to identify such people quickly. We should keep a note of their aggressive character.

Always maintain our composure and do not give into provocations. You can chant ‘Om’ in mind to keep yourself cool or any mantra you prefer.

Try to empathize with the person. See the person as a disabled who needs emotional help. So be a good listener. Do not digest what the person says. Just hear and forget.

When we have learned that the person is aggressive and not good to us, do not waste our time for such a person.

Make sure that even if you have to answer back it is limited to the issue and does not get personal.

Staying Calm and Cool in the Face of Anger: A Hindu Perspective

In Hinduism, staying calm and composed in the face of anger is a key aspect of practicing dharma (righteousness). Anger (krodha) is seen as one of the six enemies (arishadvargas) of the mind, alongside lust, greed, attachment, pride, and envy. The ability to remain calm when provoked is deeply rooted in Hindu philosophy, which emphasizes self-control, compassion, and detachment. Let's explore this topic through various aspects, including scriptures, symbolism, stories, and practical applications for modern life.

1. Philosophical Foundation

Anger is considered a destructive emotion in Hinduism because it clouds judgment and leads to harmful actions. The Bhagavad Gita (3.37) says:

"Kama esha krodha esha rajoguna-samudbhavah,
Mahashano maha-papma viddhyenam iha vairinam."

Translation: "It is lust and anger, born of the mode of passion, which is the all-devouring sinful enemy in this world."

Anger, when unchecked, leads to delusion (moha), which then leads to loss of memory and discrimination. This chain of events causes one to lose sight of their true nature and purpose, thus straying from the path of dharma. Staying calm in the face of anger is critical for spiritual progress and maintaining inner harmony.

2. Symbolism of Anger Control

In Hinduism, symbols often carry deep spiritual significance. One powerful symbol of controlling anger is the story of Shiva, the destroyer in the Trimurti. While Shiva is often depicted as the god of destruction, he is also known for his deep meditative calm. His blue throat (Neelakantha) symbolizes the power to contain and transform anger.

According to the Puranas, during the churning of the ocean (Samudra Manthan), the deadly poison Halahala emerged. Shiva drank the poison to save the world but did not let it affect him, holding it in his throat. This symbolically represents how one should deal with anger—by containing it without letting it consume them.

3. Scriptural References Beyond the Bhagavad Gita

Other Hindu scriptures, such as the Upanishads and the Ramayana, also emphasize controlling anger and cultivating calmness:

  • Katha Upanishad (2.3.4):

    "The Self cannot be attained by the weak-willed or the thoughtless, or by one who is distracted and impure."

    This suggests that staying calm and detached is essential for spiritual growth. Anger distracts the mind and prevents one from realizing their true nature.

  • Ramayana: The story of Lord Rama in the Ramayana offers a perfect example of controlling anger. When his wife, Sita, was abducted by Ravana, Rama experienced deep sorrow and anger. However, he channeled his anger productively, turning it into righteous action rather than impulsive vengeance. Rama’s ability to stay composed in the face of great provocation sets an example for all seekers.

4. Stories from Hindu Tradition

  • The Story of Parikshit and the Curse of Anger: In the Mahabharata, King Parikshit once placed a dead snake around the neck of a meditating sage, which provoked the sage’s son to curse him in anger. This led to Parikshit’s death within seven days by the bite of a snake. This story teaches the destructive power of unchecked anger and the importance of forgiveness and patience.

  • Durvasa and Ambarisha: Sage Durvasa was known for his short temper. Once, he became angry at King Ambarisha for breaking a fast without properly feeding him first. The sage summoned a demon to kill Ambarisha, but the king remained calm and prayed to Lord Vishnu. Vishnu's Sudarshana Chakra intervened, and Durvasa eventually begged for forgiveness. This story emphasizes the power of calmness and surrender to the divine, even in situations where others act out of anger.

5. Practical Strategies for Controlling Anger in Day-to-Day Life

a. Practice Detachment (Vairagya)

One of the key teachings of Hinduism is detachment. Anger arises when we become too attached to the ego, desires, or outcomes. Practicing detachment from these attachments helps reduce the emotional reaction to external events. Through meditation and introspection, one can cultivate a sense of inner peace, realizing that external events do not define one’s inner state.

b. Engage in Meditation and Breathing Techniques

Meditation, especially japa (repetition of a mantra), is a potent tool for calming the mind. The practice of controlled breathing, or Pranayama, is another way to control anger. Techniques like Nadi Shodhana (alternate nostril breathing) or Bhramari (humming bee breath) can quickly reduce stress and calm an agitated mind.

c. Karma Yoga and Selfless Service

Following the path of Karma Yoga (selfless service) helps individuals transcend the ego and align with a higher purpose. When you act without expecting rewards or praise, the chances of getting upset or angry due to unmet expectations diminish. Serving others selflessly also fosters compassion, which is the antidote to anger.

d. Cultivate Compassion and Understanding

In the Yoga Vasistha, it is said:

"He who lives by reasoning and does not yield to anger, who, being strong, controls his passions, has patience, is content, and is calm and peaceful—he is happy."

This emphasizes the importance of cultivating patience and compassion, understanding that everyone has their struggles. When others provoke anger, try to see the situation from their perspective.

6. Modern-Day Relevance

In the fast-paced modern world, anger management is more relevant than ever. Workplace stress, social media conflicts, and interpersonal disagreements can easily trigger anger. The principles of anger control from Hinduism are timeless and provide valuable guidance:

  • Workplace Conflict: Applying detachment, understanding that success and failure are part of life, can help reduce anger at work.
  • Family Dynamics: Cultivating patience and compassion within family relationships helps prevent conflicts from escalating into anger.
  • Social Media and Digital Stress: In a world of instant communication, staying calm when faced with online criticism or negative comments can prevent impulsive reactions that lead to regret.

7. Lesser-Known Facts

  • Navagrahas and Anger: In Vedic astrology, Mars (Mangala) is associated with aggression and anger. Offering prayers or remedies to Mars is believed to help mitigate anger in one’s life.

  • Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras: In the context of anger, Patanjali emphasizes the practice of non-violence (ahimsa) and self-control (yama) as essential aspects of personal discipline. Regular practice of yoga helps maintain emotional balance, making it easier to control impulses like anger.

The Hindu perspective on staying calm in the face of anger emphasizes self-control, detachment, compassion, and meditation. Scriptures like the Bhagavad Gita, Ramayana, and Upanishads offer valuable insights, while stories of sages and gods provide symbolic lessons on transforming anger into spiritual growth. In day-to-day life, practicing mindfulness, detachment, and compassion helps one remain calm, fostering harmony in both personal and professional spheres.