It is a well known fact that the good relationships keep us happier and healthier. But the million dollar question is – where do I find good relationships. In a world where everyone is madly chasing money, fame, success and materialistic things, where is the time and patience for good relationships.
What society calls today good relationship is a coming together of a set of people based on common interests. There is no quality in such relationships as it is based on selfish needs. You get something so you are in this relationship. You are part of a group because it offers you something not because there is any real connection. You are forced to maintain such relationships even if you like it or not. Quite often such relationships are based on fear of another group of people. You need to put a real effort to be in such relationships.
Good relationships should be based on quality not on quantity. It is absolutely fine if you don't have to have dozens of friends or even be in a committed relationship. Be in a relationship where you are loved and respected for the real you. If a person can be in a relationship with you even after shedding all your wealth and social status know that to be a good relationship.
The key to a good relationship is to stop having expectations. Do not have agendas and hidden motives in a relationship. Do not be in a relationship for money, power or for some other kind of help.
It is easy to maintain a good relationship when there is no expectation. It is like a free flowing river. You don’t need to hide or mend your ways to be in such a relationship. Both the persons involved in a good relationship grow and prosper. There is love and respect and there is empathy. There is deeper meaning to such a relationship. You feel safe in such a relationship.
The Importance of Good Relationships for Happiness and Health from the Perspective of Hinduism
Hinduism places significant emphasis on relationships, not only as a means of personal happiness but also as an essential part of spiritual growth and well-being. The philosophy of interconnectedness, the idea of Dharma (righteous duty), and the emphasis on love, compassion, and harmony are central to the understanding of human relationships in Hinduism. The teachings of Hindu scriptures, beyond the Bhagavad Gita, explore these themes in-depth, offering practical wisdom for fostering fulfilling relationships that lead to both happiness and health.
Symbolism of Relationships in Hinduism
In Hinduism, relationships are often symbolic of deeper spiritual truths:
Shiva and Parvati: The relationship between Shiva and Parvati is one of the most revered in Hindu mythology, symbolizing the perfect union of masculine and feminine energies (Shiva as consciousness and Parvati as creative power). Their union represents harmony, love, and balance, reminding us of the importance of unity and mutual respect in relationships.
Radha and Krishna: The love story of Radha and Krishna symbolizes divine love and devotion (Bhakti). It transcends physical attachment, reflecting the soul’s yearning for unity with the Divine. Their relationship teaches the importance of selfless love, which transcends personal desire and ego.
Hindu Scriptures on Relationships (Beyond the Gita)
The Ramayana:
- Rama and Sita: Their relationship is often considered an ideal of marital fidelity and duty. Despite the trials and separation they face, their relationship stands as a testament to the principles of Dharma (righteous conduct) in relationships. Rama's adherence to his duty as a husband, even under difficult circumstances, and Sita's unwavering devotion are celebrated as ideals.
- The bond between Rama and Lakshmana is also a prime example of sibling loyalty and love, emphasizing the importance of family relationships.
The Mahabharata:
- Draupadi and the Pandavas: Draupadi’s marriage to the five Pandavas highlights the concept of shared responsibility and loyalty. The strong relationship between Draupadi and her husbands signifies mutual respect and the capacity to bear suffering together.
- The friendship between Krishna and Arjuna also exemplifies how true friendship can be a source of strength and guidance, especially during times of crisis.
The Upanishads: The Upanishads focus on the interconnectedness of all beings, stating, "Atmanam viddhi" ("Know thyself"), which highlights that understanding the self also leads to understanding the interconnected nature of life. This recognition promotes compassion, empathy, and a sense of duty towards others, which are essential qualities for maintaining healthy relationships.
Tirukkural: This ancient Tamil text, considered a treasure of wisdom in Hindu ethics, contains several couplets (kurals) about relationships, friendship, love, and family. It emphasizes that relationships rooted in love and kindness create harmony in life. One such verse states:
- "The world’s wealth is not in riches but in friendships with good men."
Stories of Relationships and Their Spiritual Importance
The Story of Sudama and Krishna: Sudama, a poor Brahmin, visits his childhood friend, Lord Krishna, not to ask for wealth but to meet an old friend. Krishna, moved by his friend's humility and devotion, bestows Sudama with immense wealth. This story demonstrates the value of friendship, humility, and gratitude, and how true friendships transcend material concerns.
Savithri and Satyavan: Savithri’s devotion to her husband Satyavan is legendary. When Yama, the god of death, comes to take Satyavan’s soul, Savithri’s unwavering love and devotion compel Yama to return her husband to life. This story highlights the power of devotion and the strength of loving relationships, which can even transcend death.
Rishi Vasishtha and Arundhati: The relationship between the sage Vasishtha and his wife Arundhati is often cited as the ideal of a harmonious and spiritual marriage. The two are considered models of virtue and fidelity. Arundhati is frequently invoked in Hindu marriage rituals as an example of ideal womanhood, symbolizing the importance of mutual respect and spiritual equality in relationships.
Quotes from Hindu Scriptures on Relationships
"Matrudevo bhava, Pitrudevo bhava, Acharyadevo bhava, Atithidevo bhava" (Taittiriya Upanishad):
- "Revere your mother, father, teacher, and guest as God." This verse emphasizes the importance of family and respect in relationships, placing family relationships at the heart of spiritual practice.
"Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam" (Maha Upanishad):
- "The world is one family." This famous phrase encapsulates the Hindu worldview of interconnectedness, where relationships extend beyond one's immediate family and encompass all of humanity, fostering compassion, respect, and empathy for all living beings.
The Concept of Dharma and Relationships
In Hinduism, Dharma plays a pivotal role in guiding individuals on how to conduct themselves in relationships. Dharma is the moral and ethical duty that each person must follow according to their position in life (varna) and stage of life (ashrama).
Grihastha Ashrama (Householder Stage): This stage emphasizes the importance of nurturing relationships—marriage, family, and community. One’s duty as a householder is to maintain harmony in familial relationships through selflessness, service, and adherence to moral values.
Samskaras (Rites of Passage): Various samskaras, such as marriage (Vivaha) and other family rituals, are designed to nurture relationships and ensure that individuals grow spiritually through their connections with others.
Practicality of Relationship Values in Day-to-Day Life
Ahimsa (Non-violence): Practicing non-violence in relationships means avoiding harm not only physically but also emotionally and mentally. Communication that fosters understanding and reduces conflict is essential to maintaining harmony.
Seva (Service): Service to others, especially within families and communities, is a key tenet of Hinduism. Whether it's taking care of elders, nurturing children, or supporting friends, Seva strengthens bonds and brings joy.
Sama Dhristi (Equal Vision): Hindu teachings encourage the recognition of the divine in every being. Practicing this equal vision helps cultivate respect in all relationships, fostering mutual respect and dignity.
Detachment (Vairagya): Hinduism also teaches that while relationships are essential, one must maintain a balance between attachment and detachment. Vairagya doesn't mean indifference but rather the ability to love without excessive clinging, allowing freedom for both individuals to grow.
Modern-Day Relevance
In today’s fast-paced world, the ancient Hindu wisdom on relationships has never been more relevant. The constant demands of modern life can strain personal relationships, but by adhering to principles like compassion (Karuna), selflessness (Nishkama Karma), and patience (Shama), one can foster deeper connections. The focus on mindfulness, respect, and communication seen in Hindu teachings is invaluable for maintaining strong relationships in a digital, often disconnected age.
Lesser-Known Facts
Nakshatra Compatibility: Hindu astrology (Jyotish) places great importance on the compatibility of nakshatras (birth stars) when it comes to relationships, particularly marriage. This astrological approach aims to ensure that couples are aligned not just emotionally but spiritually, increasing the likelihood of long-lasting relationships.
The Panchakosha Model: The Taittiriya Upanishad describes the five sheaths (Panchakosha) of human existence—physical, energy, mind, wisdom, and bliss—which can be applied to relationships. Healthy relationships require nurturing all levels: from physical needs to emotional support, intellectual engagement, and spiritual alignment.
Hinduism provides a rich and profound framework for understanding the importance of good relationships, whether through familial bonds, friendships, or marital partnerships. The focus on Dharma, mutual respect, love, and spiritual growth ensures that these relationships not only bring happiness and health but also lead to ultimate spiritual liberation. By integrating the wisdom of Hindu scriptures into daily life, modern individuals can cultivate harmonious relationships that bring lasting fulfillment.