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We Cannot Always Be Positive

In life we all go through intense emotional pain due to death or heartbreak. We might fail in exam, interview or lose a job. We might be going through a separation or divorce or marital problems. In these moments asking a person to remain positive will be stupidity. It is not possible for everyone to remain positive during a crisis.

There are some emotions that naturally spring from the heart and we need to allow them to come up. We need to let them rain way. These clouds need to pour out.

Forced positivity by oneself or due to a belief or by someone else does only harm.

When you are not feeling positive, you should not forcibly try to be positive. There are many situations in life in which we cannot find anything positive. We should not pressurize ourselves to be positive. Searching for positivity in some situation is worthless. It is bad for our mental health.

We have to accept that we are human beings with feelings and emotions. When we are not accepting our feelings and emotions, we are creating a cocoon of artificial positivity. This is very dangerous.

We human beings will have to go through various kinds of pain. We are not Shiva. We are only on the journey to be Shiva.

We need to take some time and go through our real emotions. We need to feel the pain and process it. Intellectual reasoning cannot always hide real emotions.

A person might have lost his only child. The person is going through depression. No amount of positivity can console the person. There is no logic in camouflaging the pain and negative emotions with positive emotions in this situation. Trying to be forcibly positive during this situation is not a good idea. Optimism does not work in this situation.

Positivity and optimism cannot do away with the pain that the person is going through.

The person needs to accept the loss, the pain and helplessness.

Heartbreak, death, loss of job, failure, separation, divorce, etc are real and we need to face them. We need to continue searching for answers but we also need to accept the reality and the pain associated with them.

We need to tell us ourselves that we are in a low and it is alright. This moment is bad and we need to allow our feelings to settle. We need to give time for our heart to heal. It is dark now and let us face the darkness. Sun will surely rise tomorrow but now it is dark and I need to accept it.

Let us be sensitive about our current emotional state. Let us be honest about our feelings. Let us not collect them and create a huge dam of feeling which will surely burst in future causing permanent emotional and physical damage.

Listen to your feelings. Talk to someone about it. Instead of piling up feelings, write them down or shout them out to trees in a lonely place. Talk them out to the moon. If you feel things are beyond control then seek professional help. Do not try to be a superhuman of positivity. Be honest with your feelings and emotions. It is perfectly ok to cry. Let all those emotions flow out and drain. So that you will be ready to fill the space with true positivity. Let all dark clouds come down. So that sun can appear again.

Abhilash Rajendran