In life we all go through intense emotional pain due to death or heartbreak. We might fail in exam, interview or lose a job. We might be going through a separation or divorce or marital problems. In these moments asking a person to remain positive will be stupidity. It is not possible for everyone to remain positive during a crisis.
There are some emotions that naturally spring from the heart and we need to allow them to come up. We need to let them rain way. These clouds need to pour out.
Forced positivity by oneself or due to a belief or by someone else does only harm.
When you are not feeling positive, you should not forcibly try to be positive. There are many situations in life in which we cannot find anything positive. We should not pressurize ourselves to be positive. Searching for positivity in some situation is worthless. It is bad for our mental health.
We have to accept that we are human beings with feelings and emotions. When we are not accepting our feelings and emotions, we are creating a cocoon of artificial positivity. This is very dangerous.
We human beings will have to go through various kinds of pain. We are not Shiva. We are only on the journey to be Shiva.
We need to take some time and go through our real emotions. We need to feel the pain and process it. Intellectual reasoning cannot always hide real emotions.
A person might have lost his only child. The person is going through depression. No amount of positivity can console the person. There is no logic in camouflaging the pain and negative emotions with positive emotions in this situation. Trying to be forcibly positive during this situation is not a good idea. Optimism does not work in this situation.
Positivity and optimism cannot do away with the pain that the person is going through.
The person needs to accept the loss, the pain and helplessness.
Heartbreak, death, loss of job, failure, separation, divorce, etc are real and we need to face them. We need to continue searching for answers but we also need to accept the reality and the pain associated with them.
We need to tell us ourselves that we are in a low and it is alright. This moment is bad and we need to allow our feelings to settle. We need to give time for our heart to heal. It is dark now and let us face the darkness. Sun will surely rise tomorrow but now it is dark and I need to accept it.
Let us be sensitive about our current emotional state. Let us be honest about our feelings. Let us not collect them and create a huge dam of feeling which will surely burst in future causing permanent emotional and physical damage.
Listen to your feelings. Talk to someone about it. Instead of piling up feelings, write them down or shout them out to trees in a lonely place. Talk them out to the moon. If you feel things are beyond control then seek professional help. Do not try to be a superhuman of positivity. Be honest with your feelings and emotions. It is perfectly ok to cry. Let all those emotions flow out and drain. So that you will be ready to fill the space with true positivity. Let all dark clouds come down. So that sun can appear again.
We Cannot Always Be Positive: A Hinduism Perspective
Hinduism is a deeply philosophical religion that recognizes the dualities inherent in life. Unlike modern-day spiritual movements that often emphasize perpetual positivity, Hinduism teaches that life consists of both positive and negative experiences, joy and sorrow, success and failure, pleasure and pain. The acceptance of this duality is not only inevitable but essential for spiritual growth and personal development. This understanding permeates Hindu scriptures, stories, and symbolism.
1. Balance of Dualities in Hinduism
Hinduism fundamentally recognizes that life is cyclical, with alternating periods of joy and sorrow, success and failure. This is most evident in the concept of Samsara, the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth, where every soul undergoes various experiences across different lifetimes. In this cycle, it is impossible to remain perpetually positive, as human experiences are shaped by Karma (action) and Maya (illusion), which create the illusion of opposites like pleasure and pain.
Yin and Yang-like Philosophy: The Hindu worldview shares similarities with the idea of balance found in other traditions. The concept of Rta, or cosmic order, highlights that the universe functions in a balance of forces, making negativity and positivity complementary. Only by experiencing both can an individual move toward spiritual evolution and self-realization.
2. Symbolism of Duality in Hinduism
Hindu gods and goddesses often symbolize this balance of opposites:
- Shiva: The god of destruction, known as the cosmic dancer (Nataraja), represents both the destruction of negativity and the renewal of life. His role highlights the inevitability of destruction and challenges, which lead to creation and growth.
- Kali: The fierce goddess Kali embodies destructive energy, appearing terrifying to some but in Hindu philosophy, she symbolizes the destruction of ego and ignorance. Kali reminds devotees that confronting darkness and negativity is essential for liberation (moksha).
3. Quotes from Hindu Scriptures
While the Bhagavad Gita often emphasizes equanimity, other scriptures such as the Upanishads, Vedas, and Puranas also speak to the need to embrace the complexities of life:
- In the Isha Upanishad, the verse “Tena tyaktena bhunjitha” (By renunciation, enjoy) teaches that renouncing attachment to both joy and sorrow allows one to find true peace.
- The Brihadaranyaka Upanishad (1.3.28) states, "Asato ma sadgamaya, tamaso ma jyotirgamaya, mrityor ma amritam gamaya,” which translates to “Lead me from falsehood to truth, from darkness to light, from death to immortality." This mantra speaks to the journey from negative experiences to spiritual awakening, recognizing that confronting darkness (negativity) is essential for reaching the light (truth).
4. Stories from Hindu Mythology
Hindu mythology is rich with stories that illustrate the importance of navigating life's challenges, rather than avoiding them:
The Story of Arjuna: In the Mahabharata, Arjuna initially refuses to fight in the Kurukshetra war, overwhelmed by grief and confusion. Lord Krishna reminds him that life is full of challenges and one cannot evade the negative experiences of life. Krishna’s teachings (the Bhagavad Gita) emphasize Nishkama Karma (selfless action), urging Arjuna to rise above both success and failure.
Ramayana: The life of Lord Rama is a constant struggle between joy and sorrow, from being exiled to the forest to losing his wife Sita. Rama’s life symbolizes that even divinity is not free from negative experiences, and true strength comes from facing adversity with dignity, acceptance, and perseverance.
5. Importance of Embracing Both Positive and Negative
Hinduism teaches that human life is meant to experience and learn from both positive and negative emotions. The three gunas—Sattva (purity), Rajas (activity), and Tamas (inertia)—are forces that exist in every being and the universe, shaping human behavior and perception. All three must exist in balance, and no one force can dominate. Attempting to remain in a constant state of positivity, or Sattva, without acknowledging the presence of Rajas or Tamas, leads to an imbalanced life.
- Tamas, often seen as negativity or darkness, also serves its purpose in the grand cosmic order. It gives space for introspection, rest, and rejuvenation, which are essential to growth.
6. Lesser-Known Facts and Philosophical Insights
- The Concept of Dvandvas (Dualities): Hinduism emphasizes Dvandvas, or pairs of opposites like pleasure and pain, honor and dishonor. According to Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras, the path to liberation involves mastering the experience of these dualities and learning to remain calm and balanced regardless of external circumstances.
- The Trimurti: The Hindu trinity of Brahma (Creator), Vishnu (Preserver), and Shiva (Destroyer) represents the cyclical nature of existence—birth, preservation, and destruction. This further illustrates that no state, including positivity, is permanent.
7. Modern-Day Relevance and Practicality
In modern life, Hindu teachings on duality and the inevitability of negativity remain highly relevant. Today’s world often emphasizes constant happiness, success, and personal fulfillment, leaving little room for negativity. However, by adopting the Hindu perspective of life’s inherent dualities, individuals can achieve:
- Emotional Resilience: By accepting that negative experiences are part of life, one can develop emotional resilience. Practices like meditation and mindfulness, rooted in Hindu philosophy, allow individuals to observe their emotions without becoming attached to them, thus fostering equanimity.
- Self-Acceptance: Rather than striving for constant positivity, Hinduism teaches self-acceptance in the face of life's ups and downs. This can reduce mental health issues like anxiety and depression, which often stem from the unrealistic expectation to always "be positive."
8. Application in Day-to-Day Life
- Meditation and Self-Reflection: The practice of Dhyana (meditation) encourages individuals to sit with their thoughts, both positive and negative, fostering acceptance of the present moment.
- Acceptance of Karma: Understanding that one’s actions, both good and bad, create consequences in the future helps to navigate life’s challenges with a calm and accepting mindset.
- Embracing Detachment: The idea of Vairagya (detachment) teaches individuals to detach from the outcomes of their actions, whether positive or negative, and focus on their duties.
Conclusion
Hinduism offers a deeply nuanced view of life, one that acknowledges the impossibility of constant positivity. Instead, it encourages individuals to embrace the full spectrum of human experience, including sorrow, struggle, and negativity. By doing so, one can attain spiritual growth, resilience, and a deeper understanding of life’s true nature. The teachings from Hindu scriptures, stories, and symbols remind us that both light and darkness have a place in the journey toward self-realization.