I had longed for God. I had given long years of service to my pupils for I was a teacher of youth - and, yet, the Truth was not revealed to me.
I sought my Teacher, J.Krishnamurti, and when we were alone on the hills with the snow-clad peaks of Kanchenjunga in front of us, I ventured to ask him to tell me of God. At first he was silent, and then, suddenly, he spoke to me. "Look there and tell me what you feel". I gazed at the glory of the entire range of the eternal snowy mountains, and told him what I saw. He seemed disappointed, and I too knew that I had not understood, for, my heart and mind were burdened with many anxieties and much sorrow.
Years passed, and I still aspired and searched and once again I sought my Teacher, and asked him if he could not remove the dark cloud of ignorance from my heart and mind. We were walking on the Adyar bridge and he explained to me with infinite patience the nature of God-experience.
"You are perfectly well, are you not?" "Yes", I answered.
"Are you conscious of your body, of any portion of it?" I answered: "No, when I am completely well, as I am, I am utterly unconscious of my body".
"Perfect health", he said, "is that state of the body which is accompanied by complete unconsciousness. Whenever there is an ache, whenever any organ does not function perfectly, then the mind becomes immediately aware of it". "Likewise", he said, "the state of perfection, of God realisation, is accompanied spontaneously by the complete stillness of the mind!"
As he spoke, I experienced a sudden cessation of the activity of the mind. I became completely silent. The river was flowing under our feet, the sun was setting, and the sky was a gorgeous flame of colour. There was a cool breeze blowing from the sea. In the depth of an infinite silence, I felt an ecstasy in which there was no thought; my Teacher had answered my question!
The feeling cannot be expressed by words - this is god realization.
- By B. Sanjiva Rao, in his article on Swami Ramdas in the Sannyas Silver Jubilee Souvenir of Swami Ramdas, p.30.