The death of only son or daughter is the worst kind of loss
on earth. It is inconsolable. The father and mother will not be satisfied with
any kind of reasoning. But how to overcome grief of death of child in a real
way, not by blaming on fate or cursing God.
Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi once consoled a man whose three
year old son had just died.
A very devoted and simple devotee had lost his only son, a
child of three. The next day he arrived at the Ashram with his family.
Referring to them, Bhagavan said: Training of mind helps one
to bear sorrows and bereavements with courage; but the loss of one's children
is said to be the worst of all grief.
Grief only exists as long as one considers oneself to have a
definite form; if the form is transcended one knows the One Self to be eternal.
There is neither death nor birth.
What is born is only the body, and this is the creation of
the ego. But the ego is not ordinarily perceived without the body and so is
identified with it. It is thought that matters.
Let the sensible man consider whether he knew his body while
in deep sleep. Why, then, does he feel it in the waking state? Although the
body was not felt in sleep, didn't the Self exist? What was his state when in
deep sleep and what is it now when awake? What is the difference? The ego rises
up, and that is waking. Simultaneously thoughts arise. Find out who has the
thoughts. Where do they come from? They must arise from the conscious self.
Apprehending this even vaguely helps towards the extinction of the ego. The
realization of the One Infinite Existence becomes possible. In that state there
are no individuals but only Eternal Being. Hence there is no thought of death
or grieving.
This is the only true way to overcome grief.