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Unexpected Death Of A Loved One – How To Overcome Grief?

Unexpected death of a loved one can result us turning into nothing, utterly empty, numb and inanimate. Some of us might cry out loud, some of us will be tearless and unable to eat, drink…the sudden death will tear our life apart. So how do we overcome the grief and crisis of unexpected death of a loved one?

Nothing in the world is going to replace the loss. The dead has gone but those living near and dear ones will simply not be able to take anything in. The mind will not be ready to accept any kind of consoling.

To recover from enormous and unexpected deaths in our lives, we must first teach our mind to accept the fact that the person is no longer alive. The Hindu cremation and the after death rituals are actually designed to help the living relatives. It is for them to realize that the person no longer exists on earth in body form. This is why the body is cremated and the ashes are dispersed in the river.

The rituals help a person to move on and rebuild their lives.

Memory and forgetting is difficult in the beginning. But we all need to move forward. The best way is to start sharing your thoughts. This sharing and interpreting will take you out of the prison of grief.

Stop blaming god, religion and fate for death, every living being on earth has to undergo transformation (death). As per Hinduism, there is no death, there is only transformation. The span of life on earth depends upon the person’s previous karmas. Ultimately, all animate and inanimate needs to return to the primordial source.

We need to let the soul of the dead person move to the next stage. When we are trying to keep the person on earth through grief, we are stopping the person’s journey.

Just accept the fact that life has dealt a terrible blow, but then we have to get on with things…we need to start forgetting for good. It is good for the person dead and also for those living with us.

Everyone has a perfect release, for some it can be music, for some dance, for others sports, for others writing, for some helping others, for some just listening to other people’s sadness, for some walking or running ….. You just need to find the perfect release. Find something concrete that will somehow express our inner sorrow.

We need to realize that there are people looking up to us, people who depend upon us both directly and indirectly. The dead person has gone but might have left lot of unfinished work. It is for us to continue them. It is for us to now turn the wheel and get everything back on track.

We need to be an example to emulate, the next generation should learn from us to overcome grief.

One day, the next generation will face the same situation when we depart…