Have we ever realized that when we are speaking ill of others we are indirectly praising ourselves and saying that we are better than they are? And, in all honesty, are we always better than them. Majority of the time when we are speaking ill of others we are bitten by jealousy and envy. We try to hide the poison of envy and jealousy by criticizing others or belittling what they have.
Most of the conflicts in personal and professional life are directly associated with jealousy and envy.
We pay more attention to what other people have and what they have achieved. We do not see what we have and we are not happy with our achievements.
When we are too much concerned about the recognition others get, it turns into envy and jealousy. Instead of realizing our value and working on it, the envy and jealousy bring out the worst in us and this is in the form of gossiping and speaking ill of others.
Envy and jealousy are poisons that are powerful enough to kill relationships and make life difficult and miserable.
In envy, we desperately want to have what the other person has. In jealousy, we want the recognition and attention the other person has from others.
Jealousy is developed first when you are not appreciated and your friend or sibling is appreciated by parents or teachers. It is then seen in relationships. It is then carried to workplace, career, offices and in all walks of life.
In envy, you want what the other person has or even better. If your neighbor has a new car, you want to get a better one.
Envy is a highly negative emotion. It is resentment. Even if it is of little or no value to your life, you want to have it because someone else has it.
When you fear losing someone you love to another person, you develop jealousy. It arouses destructive emotions like anger, depression, and disappointment.
Everyone is a victim of jealousy and envy because they are natural instincts. We human beings need to learn to manage them to live in a civilized society. Many of us wear a mask to hide jealousy and envy. But this is lethal because it can become destructive.
The best option to deal with envy and jealousy is to know our real worth. We need to be honest about ourselves.
Then we need to learn that in envy we madly believe that we are incomplete without something that the other person has. Are we truly incomplete without it? No, we are not. No person in this world is incomplete without a materialistic thing. We all are complete being and we feel incomplete due to ignorance. We need to work on gathering true wisdom to wipe out ignorance.
There will always be people who are better than we are in wealth, talent, health, honor and reputation. What we do not realize is that we are better than a million others out there. We need to concentrate more on effort rather than on the outcome. When we are envy, we only focus on the result, not on the years of toil and effort.
And the people we envy are our relatives, neighbors, friends, and colleagues. Do we envy the richest man in the world who owns yachts and private jets? No, we envy someone whom we know owned a better bike or car.
In jealousy, we are clinging to people, we want them to appreciate or respect or love us. We don’t want people to be independent. We want them to be submissive. We are resisting the change that is happening in other people. We always want to be in control and feel important.
We need to overcome envy and jealousy through awareness and wisdom. Instead of comparing, start emulating. Take inspiration and lessons from those better than us to reach our destination.
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Abhilash
www.hindu-blog.com
Abhilash