How Should Sensitive People Approach Argument?

This post attempts to find solution to the query - How Should Sensitive People Approach Argument?

For sensitive people fights and arguments are scary. It can cause them emotional disturbance and it might last for days and months. Even a small fight or wrong word used during an argument might feel like the end of the world. This is because sensitive people take things of the moment to heart.

Do not go on all-out attack at the beginning of a discussion or argument. Start by agreeing to a certain viewpoint of the other person. This will tone down the situation, as the other person will be forced to listen to your points. Through this validation, you are creating a healthy atmosphere to have a fruitful discussion or argument. As you are sensitive, this will give you some kind of stability and a good defense mechanism.

14th century Narasimha Swamy Ahobilam Temple, Andhra Pradesh

Stop direct blaming – like you are wrong … you are hurting my feelings etc. Instead of blaming, try to say I am hurt…I feel there is some error…etc. Through this kind of ‘I’ statements, you can convey your feelings without causing an upheaval.

Keep your tone and body language peaceful. Avoid raising your voice and hands while getting into an argument. This threatens the other person. Maintain a relaxed posture and gentle tone. This will calm you and the other person will not be offended.

Avoid extreme phrases like you have always hurt me…you never do things properly…you are good for nothing …etc. Put facts in a manner that the other person cannot argue against it. Instead of saying you never do a thing properly…you can tell the number of times you were forced redo the person’s work.

Do not let your emotions rise. Make sure you remain calm and composed. Whenever you feel you are trembling or your breath is increasing … chant a small prayer or take a small walk.

If you are full of anger, then it is better to keep quiet for some time. Allow your anger to subside before you start the conversation. In anger, we only make mistakes. Sit down, take time, and then strategize on how to deal with the discussion or argument.

Debate on the point – stick to what is the important concern. Do not mix past grudges and other problems into the present argument. Talk only about what you need and what needs to be improved upon.

Ask questions and know what the other person feels and what the person’s needs are or what the person’s reasons are. This will give you the opportunity to know what the real issue is and it will help in not hurting the other person.

Abhilash Rajendran
www.hindu-blog.com