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Fidelity in the Age of Social Media – Am I Smart Phone Cheating My Partner?


A few of us are very lucky to have a good partner but majority of us are not that lucky. Earlier there was forced fidelity as there was less opportunity to wander outside the pen and taste something different. With the arrival of social media, smartphone and apps, the not so lucky in a relationship have plenty of green pastures. It only takes a bit of courage and cunningness to cheat in the age of social media and apps. So am I smart phone cheating my partner?

Majority of the infidelity in the age of smartphone is limited to texting on safe topics like similar interests, hobbies, music, sports, and films. For some it goes a step further, both use it to abuse and complain about their respective partner. Some harmless quality time, sexual innuendos and few may take it a step further to explore their sexual fantasies.

What makes social media cheating guilt free is that there is no physical contact. Everything is limited to texting, voice or very rarely videos. Each gets a kind of mental satisfaction that they are not able to get from their regular partner.

Such small opportunities outside the relationship have become very common. When sex is dying in bedroom, it is thriving in smart phone.

So far so good but sometimes things get out of hand. This so-called time pass in local parlance becomes a problem when one person gets too serious. When there is no text or reply for an hour one can get depressed, angry and sad. There will be severe mood swings and frustration. This will affect work, relationship with family members, spouse, children and friends. There is lot of confusion, secrecy and fear.

Always know that searching for emotional support outside when you are in a committed relationship only causes more problems. Before looking for emotional and physical support outside, you need to discuss it with your current partner or amicably end the current relationship.

Do not do something that you know your partner will not like. This includes messaging, talks, using romantic emojis, late night messaging, saving numbers under false name and exchanging pictures and videos.

We all get bored in life and we want something different or a thrill to spice up life. Doing something to get out of mundaneness is harmless. But if you do it purposefully to find relief from a relationship or marriage then it is a problem. It is no longer harmless fun. It is a classic case of cheating your partner.

When you are hiding any kind of relationship from your current partner, it is a form of cheating.
Many times your positive and significant comments about the appearance or character of opposite sex affect your partner’s self-esteem. Comparing, ignoring the efforts of your partner to look good and do better, giving attention to minute details about opposite sex are signs of cheating. This is when your partner begins to notice and feel you are cheating. This is when problems creep into a relationship.

We get to hear the excuse that relationships have become murkier and complex in the modern world.
There is nothing murkier or complex, it is all in the mind. If you have nothing to hide and if you do not have secrets then there is no problem.

But there is a problem when there is something to hide or you have secrets. Hiding or switching of the smart phone when your partner comes is a classic example of infidelity in a relationship.
Ask yourself and be honest. If you are sure, you are not cheating your partner then it is fine. You are your best judge. But know that each person’s definition and level of cheating varies.

www.hindu-blog.com
Abhilash