The pressure to reach high in life and to be as per the
definition of success defined by family and society creates only stress,
depression and anxiousness. It destroys lives and those that cannot bear the
pressure commit suicide.
Parents put pressure on children by comparing them with
others. They appreciate other high achievers and compare their children with
them. From Kindergarten, children are thrown into a pressure cooker
environment. They carry the burden of a high level of expectations. They struggle
silently. They start to hide their feelings. Poor souls cannot even communicate
a real health issue – parents and teachers seeing this as faking to stop going
to school and studying.
Children are pushed to get good marks and become toppers.
Children should top the class; nothing else is good enough
for parents.
No one is bothered and concerned about the mental health of
the toppers and achievers in schools. Stress, sadness, anxiety, and pressure
these children go through are ignored. And the worst part is that parents and
teachers are not even aware of the mental health situation of their children.
Kids are forced to hide their real feelings. They put on a mask to be in the
good books of parents and teachers.
This slowly creates psychological problems in children. They
feel they are not good enough when they might be better than the majority of
students. 98 is not good enough because there was someone who got 98.5.
Teachers and parents always point to someone else who is
doing better. Some even go to the extent of comparing with children in other
countries.
What kind of childhood are parents and teachers giving the
poor children? They are creating ticking time bombs. Such children grow up
frustrated and stressed. They soon fall into depression, starts substance
abuse, alcohol, become suicidal or antisocial. The family life of such children
will never be happy. They create problems everywhere. They want to destroy.
There should be a perfect balance between achievements and
wellbeing – both physical and mental. What is the use of achievements and
success when you cannot find happiness or contentment in them?
Parents should only provide motivation and environment for
children to find their own path – to follow their dream.
Good college, a good degree, good friends, good
activities…we pressure our children to do everything good. And who defines what
is good? Good is today determined by filthy mindless advertisements and
worthless fake media. We follow their path and destroy our lives. We pressure
our children to follow the standard set by people who do not have an iota of
standards.
We simply push our children to become achievers without
knowing what they really want. We simply push them to overcome obstacles
without showing them how to overcome the obstacles. Do not push your children
to become achievers if you cannot yourself overcome those obstacles. Simply
sitting and advising to do that and this is easy, what matters is show them how
to do it in real. Pushing too hard will eventually backfire.
Solution
Parents need to change. Focus on what your child needs and
not on your dreams for your children. Motivate them, show them the different
paths, and let them choose.
Do not get inspired by fake media news items regarding
toppers and achievers. Every child is different. Do what is good for your
child. Do not ask them to become someone else.
Create a stress-free environment at school and at home.
Children should be happy to got school and equally happy to come back home.
A majority of the current crop of teachers are worthless.
They are mere workers who do a mechanical work for a salary. They are not
bothered about students. They should not even be allowed to go anywhere near
the children. Parents should protest and get worthless teachers removed. They
should make sure that children spent time with teachers who have a broader view
of life. Who are aware of what is happening around the world. Who constantly
refresh their knowledge. A teacher should guide a child out of darkness. Today,
we have teachers who push children into pitch darkness of no return.
There should be trained counselors. Teachers and parents
should be made of aware of stress, depression and anxiety levels of children.
Instead of pushing children into the rat race and negative
thinking, they should be taught positive thinking and about the umpteen
possibilities in life.
There is life beyond engineering, MBA, doctor, cricket,
dance --- there are thousands of other fields where your child can succeed. Do
not follow what the crowd is doing. Let children excel in what they like. Do
not narrow and limit the definition of success. Celebrate in anything that your
child succeeds.
Life is all about happiness and peace. What is the use of
miserably making a lot of money, when you do not find happiness and peace in
it?
Let them find joy in what they like and let them bring
smiles to others.