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Being Religious Does Not Mean You Can Neglect Family Duties - Hinduism Perspective

It is a wrong notion which people hold that when one becomes religious he neglects his family duties. On the other hand he will do it more efficiently than before because his love for God will make him love His children – the family members – and he will serve them all the more ardently with greater love than before as he will see God in them. If one neglects family duties it means his religious outlook is not of the right type.

Hinduism never has said that religion or spiritual instructions are not for the married. Married couples are expected by our Shastras to lead a religious life and a life of sacrifice in the service of society and not be selfish. It is only the unwise ones who do not know the a, b, c of the Shastras, say such silly things, being extremely selfish.

As regards japa, the more you do the better. But then, there is no use repeating the mantra mechanically a large number of times. Instead, if you repeat it devotedly and with great fervour a limited number of times, it is better. Devotion and fervour is what is important and not the number. There is no limit for japa. The more japa you make the quicker will be your spiritual progress.

Try to repeat the mantra always mentally – all the 24 hours, even in the midst of your work. You may forget to do so but as soon as you remember, begin repeating and you will slowly get into the habit of repeating it always.

Swami Vireswarananda of Sri Ramakrishna Mission

Further Explanation:

The idea that becoming religious leads to neglecting family duties is indeed a misconception. True spirituality, as outlined in the teachings of Hinduism, not only fosters a deeper connection with the Divine but also enhances one’s ability to fulfill worldly responsibilities with love, devotion, and integrity. Let’s explore this notion with further symbolism, examples, and insights from Hindu scriptures, as well as its relevance and practicality in modern life.

Expanded Explanation:

In Hindu philosophy, Dharma refers to the moral and ethical duties of individuals according to their role in society, including their responsibilities towards family. A person who becomes religious does not abandon these duties; rather, they embrace them more fully. Hindu scriptures such as the Bhagavad Gita teach that one must perform their duties without attachment to the fruits of the action (karma yoga), implying that neglecting one's family obligations under the pretext of spirituality is against the principles of dharma.

When a person grows spiritually, their understanding of interconnectedness deepens. In Hinduism, the family is considered the first field of Seva (selfless service). By serving one’s family with love and care, a person is serving God, as the Divine resides in all beings. This is beautifully captured in the Hindu saying: "Mātṛ devo bhava, Pitṛ devo bhava, Ācārya devo bhava" – meaning "Revere your mother as God, revere your father as God, revere your teacher as God." This underscores the importance of family as a medium for spiritual practice.

Symbolism and Importance:

The Grihastha Ashrama (the householder stage) in Hinduism is one of the four stages of life (Ashramas), and it is considered vital for the balance and sustenance of society. In this stage, an individual is encouraged to carry out family duties while also engaging in spiritual practice. The family is seen as a microcosm of the universe, and serving one's family with love and devotion is akin to serving society and the cosmos.

The role of the Grihastha (householder) is compared to a tree that provides shelter, food, and protection to those who rely on it, symbolizing how a spiritually awakened individual nurtures and supports the family. The tree does not abandon its duties to others because of its growth; rather, it strengthens its roots (spiritual practice) to bear fruit for others.

Examples from Hinduism:

  1. Lord Rama – As an ideal householder, Rama is an exemplar of balancing spirituality with family responsibilities. Even though He is the epitome of dharma and divinity, He never neglected His duties as a son, husband, or king. Rama’s respect for His parents, His unwavering love for Sita, and His sense of duty towards His subjects show that true spirituality does not involve withdrawing from one’s worldly responsibilities but rather fulfilling them with a higher sense of purpose and devotion.

  2. Yudhishthira – In the Mahabharata, Yudhishthira is often shown as the embodiment of dharma. His spirituality did not detach him from his obligations towards his family. Despite the challenges and trials, he consistently prioritized his brothers and family, performing his duties as a king and a householder with integrity.

  3. The Bhagavad Gita – In the Gita, Lord Krishna explains to Arjuna that one’s duty must be performed with a spirit of devotion. Arjuna was initially reluctant to engage in battle due to familial attachments, but Krishna clarified that performing one’s duty, even in challenging circumstances, is part of the greater cosmic order. "You have the right to perform your duty but not to the fruits of the action" (Gita 2.47) is a principle that highlights the balance between action and spiritual practice.

Practicality in Modern-Day Life:

In today’s fast-paced world, the concept of balancing spirituality and family duties is highly relevant. Modern spiritual seekers often find themselves torn between pursuing personal growth and fulfilling familial roles. However, as per Hindu teachings, these two aspects of life are not contradictory but complementary.

  1. Increased Compassion: Spirituality helps individuals develop qualities like empathy, patience, and understanding, which enhance relationships within the family. Seeing the Divine in family members encourages one to treat them with greater love and respect.

  2. Stress Relief and Better Performance: A person who practices mindfulness or meditation, which are essential aspects of spirituality, often finds that they are better equipped to handle the stresses of daily life, including family responsibilities. This leads to a more harmonious home environment.

  3. Modeling Good Values: When parents or elders in a family engage in spiritual practices, they serve as role models for children. The next generation learns the importance of balancing material and spiritual life, cultivating values like integrity, service, and respect.

Simple Story from Hinduism:

The Story of Sudama and Krishna: Sudama, a poor Brahmin, was a childhood friend of Lord Krishna. Despite his poverty, Sudama remained devoted to his family and performed his duties with love and simplicity. His wife, knowing the depth of his friendship with Krishna, encouraged him to seek help. Sudama, though hesitant, went to Krishna not out of greed but out of love. When Krishna saw his friend, He welcomed him with open arms, and through their meeting, Sudama’s family was miraculously blessed with abundance. The story illustrates how spiritual devotion, coupled with humble dedication to family duties, brings both material and spiritual fulfillment.

Modern-Day Relevance:

In today’s context, the balance between spiritual aspirations and worldly duties can be challenging. The pressures of modern work life, career ambitions, and social obligations often lead people to feel disconnected from their families. However, Hindu teachings remind us that spirituality begins at home.

For example, the practice of setting aside time for family prayer, meditation, or simple acts of kindness can have profound effects on both family dynamics and individual spiritual growth. In a world filled with distractions, remembering that family relationships are sacred and serve as a foundation for broader social harmony can help individuals remain grounded.

Benefits of Integrating Spirituality with Family Life:

  1. Stronger Relationships: When spirituality is practiced, relationships within the family deepen because they are based on respect, love, and mutual service.

  2. Inner Peace and Harmony: Fulfilling family duties with a spiritual mindset reduces stress, guilt, and inner conflict, leading to a peaceful life.

  3. Balanced Life: A holistic approach to spirituality ensures that individuals grow not just in their relationship with God, but also with the world around them, beginning with the family.

The notion that becoming religious leads to neglecting family responsibilities is indeed incorrect. True spirituality, especially as taught in Hinduism, integrates seamlessly with one's worldly duties. It encourages individuals to see their family members as manifestations of the Divine, thus fostering greater love, compassion, and service. By understanding that Dharma involves fulfilling one’s duties towards the family while also pursuing spiritual goals, an individual can lead a life that is both materially fulfilling and spiritually enriching.