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For a Successful Marriage

Romance, sex, bodily attraction, wealth are not only what is going to last a marriage. Trust, empathy, flexibility, loyalty, kindness, even-mindedness, compassion, patience, consideration and the ability to listen are what is going to make a marriage work. Here are few tips for a successful marriage:
  • No matter what happens, he will be there for me. No matter what happens, she will be there for me. This firm belief is what is needed in marriage. This belief should be instilled in your partner over a period. Never complain, question, and admonish your partner in a crisis. Be the strength not weakness.
  • Do not force likes and dislikes on the other person. Everything should be mutual. There should be give and take.
  • Never build marriage on finance. Marrying for wealth and money will soon result in distrust.
  • Never carry your prejudices and doubts into marriage. All secrets and fears should be discussed and settled before marriage.
  • There should be total equality in married life. There is no commander and foot soldier. There is no master and slave.
  • God, beliefs, politics, and spirituality should not be forced in marriage. Individual freedom, likes and dislikes should be respected and encouraged.
  • There should be growth in marriage. It should be fresh. It should not get stagnant. Joy, love, happiness, sex…all aspects of marriage should be kept alive. There should be vigorous life in marriage. Marriage should be never of two living dead people.
  • Never abandon your partner. Be there for your spouse. Anticipate where you are needed - where your presence and strength is needed.
  • There should be mutual respect. This is the bedrock of a marriage. Respect each other all times.
  • Sex should be always alive in marriage. It should never die out. It should not become a mere exercise. 
  • Never be ashamed to accept mistakes. Correct mistakes at the earliest.
  • Forgive and forget. Grudges should have no place in a healthy marriage.
  • There should mature dialogue always. Talk things over. Express clearly. Communication channels should always be open. There should be free flowing of ideas and thoughts among partners.
  • Never complain about your partner to a third person. Settle all matters among yourselves.
  • As years go by, partners get casual about looks, manners, attitudes etc. This is a big mistake. Always keep the spark alive.
  • Trust and respect your partner’s private space. Do not keep checking on your partner all the time.
  • Fight and argue but stick to the issue on hand. Arguments should be to resolve problems not for scoring points. Do not dig up the past mistakes. Avoid accusations. Never tell words that you will have to regret the entire life.
  • Marriage is a roller-coaster ride. There will be intense passion and affection. This will be followed by intense dislike. The roller coaster ride will continue until you mature in relationship.
  • Never compare your relationship with that of others. Never point out how good they are and how bad we are. 
  • Marriages are not made in heaven. We have to work on it and make it happen on earth.
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Abhilash Rajendran